The Elvira Project

“Sometimes you can learn the best lessons in life wearing a low cut black dress, some high heels, and an awesome beehive wig.” – Tracie Dee

My favorite holiday is Halloween. Ever since childhood, there has just always been an attraction for me to have one day a year where you can dress up and transform yourself into anyone or anything you wanted to be….for just a day…. yet have the ability to safely to return to your usual self the day after. I think of it as the safety net of holidays where you can let your freak flag fly free for awhile, yet roll it back up safely and tuck it away when your done.

Oh the possibilities!!!!

I always dressed up for Halloween as a child, and revisited this tradition again as an adult about 10 years ago, to hand out candy to the trick or treaters. (Hey, why should kids have all the fun!)  I usually start to think of Halloween and my costume ideas around August (I guess seeing jack ‘o lanterns and scarecrows mixed in among sunscreen and flip flops on the store shelves can really start to inspire a girl to start thinking of things that go bump in the night). This year, my inspiration actually came from a witch’s costume that I bought half price last year but didn’t use. I decided to go out on a limb and go farther with my Halloween costume and character than I EVER have before….I decided that I was going to go all out and try my hand at being…..ELVIRA, THE MISTRESS OF THE DARK!

Now Elvira is larger than life in a lot of ways, and I’m NOT just talking about her bra size…although I’m sure that is quite impressive, too! I knew if I was going to try and portray her in a way truly deserving of a character like Elvira, it was going to take some work. I wasn’t about to just toss on a wig and low cut black dress and hope for the best! So for two months I did my best to learn and soak in (if you will) all that is Elvira. I watched her videos and interviews on YouTube. I read about her online. I researched how to do her make-up the right way. I worked hard on transforming that ordinary witch’s costume into something “Elvira-worthy”.  I did my best to learn how to act and be Elvira in a way that I felt would do her justice.

Along my journey of what I refer to as “The Elvira Project”, I’ve also learned more about this iconic character then I ever thought I would, beyond just straight up facts and details. I have had the pleasure of getting to know her (in a way, at least) and discovering just why her popularity with her loyal fans has endured for all of these years.

She has an appeal that’s attractive on many levels, besides just her physical beauty. She is funny. She is sweet yet sassy and as down to earth as can be. She makes you feel comfortable and just happy to be around her. In many ways, she is the like the girl next door…..if you happen to live next door to a haunted house that is owned by a family heavily into goth, that is. I can imagine if you just moved to her neighborhood that Elvira would bring you over a cake to welcome you, while apologizing for the boob marks in the icing which occurred while she was reaching across the table.

(Hey, it can happen….and please don’t ask how I know this.)

Elvira proves that we don’t need to take life or ourselves too seriously ALL of the time. She is brave enough to just be herself, regardless of what others might think. She is proud to stand out from the crowd and makes no apologies for being different.

Once you get to know Elvira….you just can’t help but love her.

You know something? I think I want to be Elvira when I grow up! But even if I can’t (Oh, gosh darn it!) I am honored and proud to at least get to be her for a day or two…..or maybe even three (but who’s counting). I think we all might have a little Elvira inside of us…..but we just have to find the courage within ourselves to let her out every once in awhile.

Life lessons learned from a low cut black dress, a pair of high heels and an awesome beehive wig. Who would have ever thought!

“The Elvira Project” has sure been an interesting journey, I tell ya!  For me, half of the fun came from the process it took to take myself from “regular redhead” to “vivacious vamp”. I kept a video diary over the two months that it took to complete the whole process. If you would like to check it out, here it is!

Until next time! Happy haunting! Ta ta and toodles!

Bucket Lists

"Its never too late to be what you might have been" – George Eliot

I’ve been a late bloomer in pretty much every aspect of my life. Some of it was out of my control (I mean I really couldn’t help if Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor and exercised it heavily on me during my teens and twenties) but I can’t put all of the blame for it on her, either. Some of it was also by my personal choice. And by that, I mean I used to be very shy and afraid of “what was out there” in the big, scary world so I would rarely try anything new or took any chances of any kind. I chose instead to do my best to hide away from life, tucking myself away from it safely like a tight little rosebud that had not yet bloomed.

But there is a quote that says “And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” This was the case for me. As time went on, my rosebud shell grew more and more uncomfortable for me. So one day I just took a chance and pushed aside a petal or two to take a peek at what was going on outside of my safe little bud. When I did, I was amazed at what I saw and how I felt. At last I had found the courage I needed to take a risk on myself and that big scary world outside and started to take on the task of blooming.

It’s been awhile now since I took that first step to leave that ol’ bud of mine behind me but even so, I still strive to blossom and grow in other ways whenever the opportunity presents itself. I’ve created a bucket list of sorts for myself , made up of challenges to meet, both big and small. I’ve included everything from simply trying new foods to trying new experiences. In my ongoing quest towards “Blossomville”, I’ve learned that most stuff you try even just once wont kill ya…… but then again that also depends on what you want to try. I mean if you attempt to become the king or queen of multitasking and try to make yourself some toast and dry your hair while relaxing in your bathtub loaded up with Mr. Bubbles….. that might be a problem. 

(Although it still might not actually kill ya, it might put a bit of damper on accomplishing the rest of your list, yanno?)

I’m proud and happy to say that the accomplished challenges section of my bucket list is coming along quite nicely so far, but I have much more to go…..and isn’t that what makes for a really good bucket list anyway? Just as you cross of some of your met goals...start adding some new ones ASAP!  I can think of only one thing sadder than an empty bucket list….. and that would be a full one that goes unattempted.

Regret is hard to live with. When we take the time to look back over our lives, what we often regret the most are the things we never tried as opposed to the things we have. We learn through experience and every new one (whether good or bad) helps us to grow emotionally, in knowledge, and in our overall confidence level. Sometimes experience really IS the best teacher. So give yourself permission to go out on a limb once in awhile. Give yourself the chance to one day look back on your life with a smile and a sense of pride and say “OMG…I actually DID that??”  If you haven’t already, why not start scratching some things off of your bucket list today? Take some advice from George Eliot. It’s never too late. And there is no time like the present to start.

My most recent bucket list challenge that I met was walking in the annual Easter Parade on 5^thavenue in Manhattan for the very first time this past Easter. (I gotta get to work on my next challenge. I think I'm a bit overdue.) It was so much fun and I’m so glad I tried it. If you would like to join me in my experience, please check out my video below.

Ladies and Gentlemen....

Normally, right about now, I would feel inclined to continue with “and children of all ages” (guess I’ve been to the circus just one time too many) but this time instead of introducing some dancing bears or the Flying Wallendas, I’m simply here to introduce myself.

My name is Tracie Dee. I’ve been writing for about 4 years now and got my start blogging on MySpace. I love writing but these days, I’m also finding enjoyment with vlogging. I have found that videos are a nice way to share what words alone might not give justice to and also for people to really get to know the person behind the words and the keyboard.

Overall, I consider myself to be a pretty down to earth and upbeat person, whose sense of humor can be a bit wacky at times. Hey, life can be rough and sometimes laughter and levity can be our only saving grace to help us get through it all. I consider it to be our very own little light at the end of the tunnel that serves to remind us that even during the very worst of times…..yes…..life IS still good and can be again for us if we can just find a way to hold on and see our way through it all. Laughter and humor can, indeed, act as our lifelines. Each of us needs kindness and comfort sometimes and we also need moments that take our minds away from our problems, at least for a little while. That is what I hope I can help do in some small way. 

So…..are you ready for some fun? I suggest you hold onto your hats and fasten your seatbelts…..cause it’s gonna be a BUMPY…… but REALLY FUN…. ride! Stay tuned! Here is just a sample of what you're in for!

The McRib : A Love Story

In all my years of fast food eating, I have rarely if ever seen the phenomena and fascination that surrounds the McRib. Just what is it about this simple little sandwich that can bring tears of joy to some people, yet to others….. just plain tears? For some this sandwich is AMBROSIA. For others, it’s more DECOMPOSURE. Wherever you stand on this topic of this sandwich, I guarantee your position is an impassioned one.

As most of you know, I enjoy fast food sometimes. Heck, as most of you know I enjoy ANY kind of food most times, so of course I had to try this sandwich to see what all of the hoopla was about. The following is my story, my firsthand account, of my experiences with the sandwich that seduces you for a short time each year to visit the home of Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese and Birdie, the Early Bird….. the McRib. 

“Of all the Mickey D’s, in all the towns, in all the world…..you walked into mine.”

(Well actually it was in ALL the Mickey D’s across the United States….but just go with me on this.)  Those were my thoughts as I walked up to the counter, placing my very first order for the legendary McRib sandwich with the girl behind the counter as she was adjusting her the hairnet. I took my tray of food and scoped out the tables, hoping to find just the RIGHT one for me to experience…..my first. I found a lovely booth by the window with a view of the people passing by outside. (Oh how voyeuristic of me!) As I sat down, I took off my coat to make myself comfortable. I didn’t want ANYTHING to spoil this moment. I carefully opened the McRib box. It’s scent to me was nothing short of  intoxicating and although I know I should have taken that first special bite slowly to savor the moment…I didn’t. I couldn’t. The anticipation to at last taste and experience this sandwich was just TOO much for me, so I just dived in and went for it.  Ohhhhhhh yes! The sandwich was everything I had heard and imagined it would be like. The flavor of the sweet yet sassy BBQ sauce mixing with the onions and pickles and the smoke flavored pork patty was delectable. It was a marriage of flavors that fairy tales could have been written about. In that moment of magical consumption, I suddenly knew the wonder of this sandwich that I always heard so much about. I was under it’s spell. I believe I even wiped a tear from my eye as I chewed….smearing barbeque sauce across my face as I did, but it was worth it. My experience with this singular McRib sandwich was so rich, so tantalizing, so amazing that my hunger …no, I should say my new found PASSION…… for this saucy little pieced together patty of pork could not be satisfied with just one. So I did what any other red blooded American woman would do who had just experienced a pleasure that had, until this point, went unknown to her. I had to go back for more……..two days later. (Hey, I gotta watch my figure ya know!)

Two days later, I returned to Mickey D’s, the place where I had found what now made all my past fast food experiences pale in comparison. I sat down in the same booth with my luscious little tidbit before me again. I looked at it wantingly, admiring it’s beauty and tantalizing appearance for just a moment before deciding when the time was right to begin devouring it. Once I could not take it anymore, I went for it! I took a great big bite yet AGAIN just waiting for that thrill that I had felt before to hit my tongue and tastebuds. I chewed and waited…..and waited…and waited some more. “Where did it go?”, I asked myself sadly. “Surely my tastebuds just needed to warm up before being exposed to such delight again. The shock must have just been too much for them, right? “ This is what I told myself as I took another bite. But with that one, too, suddenly…..my thrill was gone. “What happened???? Why were my tastebuds not jumping for joy and absolute pleasure like it had before????”  Without haste I opened the sandwich and made a discovery. There wasn’t as many onions on it as there was before. There also wasn’t as much sauce on this sandwich as there had been on my first one, either, and without the sauce, the true flavor and texture of that pork patty came through. “How could this be???? With this McRib book of love, could the cover made of BBQ sauce truly be better and more attractive than the pork pages found inside???? It COULDN’T be!!! “

Through a shaken heart and brain, I somehow managed to continue to eat, hoping I would find some kind of answer. As I ate, I noticed that the meat itself did not have much flavor on it’s own. I also noticed it’s texture was actually quite rubbery. Was this my beloved McRib’s true nature that I was slowly discovering and had been kept OH SO WELL HIDDEN to me before under all of that sumptuous BBQ sauce? Was that sauce merely a distraction??? Oh say it wasn’t so! Take my Big Mac, take my McNuggets but DON’T TAKE MY McRIB!!!  But alas, from start to finish, this sandwich was nothing like my first. It was bland and blah. Our love was gone. It was over. We were through! What once was so enjoyable and brought me much so much happiness and satisfaction, in one brief moment, came to end because one McDonald’s employee didn’t give that pork patty an extra dip in the BBQ sauce and went light on the onions (I wonder how they can live with themselves and how they sleep at night). I left the restaurant dejected and alone. I never went back…..until the McNuggets went on sale a few weeks later. You can ALWAYS depend on the McNuggets!

So there is my story of discovery, sweet and spicy love, and then the heartbreak of it all! Yes, life is like a McRib sandwich, isn’t it? The McRib……the stuff of legends.

(NOTE: Even though my last experience with the McRib was so disappointing and I had no intentions of every having another again, after writing this blog, I am considering changing my mind trying it again this week. What the HECK is with those sandwiches???? Do they hypnotize people or something????)

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Cranberries.....schramberries!

Throughout the course of a year, there are certain things we can expect and depend on, such as the sun rising and setting each day, having to beg for extra ketchup and napkins when you go to McDonald’s because they somehow believe that only one of each will suffice, and seasonal holidays. To some, these yearly traditions bring great joy and fond memories. But to others, they bring nothing but dread and sadness. I think it’s safe to say that each of us have probably experienced at least some of each kind, but hopefully more good ones than bad.

Growing up, Thanksgiving was always one of my favorite holidays. Mine were never spent with tons of family and instead just my immediate family of my parents, aunt and uncle, but I remember them fondly. All of that changed, however, once my aunt and uncle passed away. To us, Thanksgiving basically died along with them. But the traditions were revived in a new way a few years later when I invited my then soon to be boyfriend (now my ex) to spend Thanksgiving with us. But this new found renewal for this holiday was short lived when the Thanksgivings with him that followed (which we also considered to be our anniversary) were wrecked by us fighting over how he couldn’t sacrifice drinking to the point of getting drunk for one day…our anniversary…just to make me happy.

Since then, I have come to accept the fact that my days of an “ideal” Thanksgiving are now over. Instead, I have learned to enjoy and embrace what have become my “new” traditions for Thanksgiving. Now the day is usually spent doing nothing but relaxing and not doing much of anything. At the age of 40, I still watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and intend to do so until it either ends…or I do. Whatever comes first! For me, the magic of the parade is my small way of re-connecting to those Thanksgivings of the past that I fondly remember. We visit with my parents for awhile and then come evening, my boyfriend makes the 10 lb turkey I get for $5 at our local DEALS store, along with a box of Stove Top Turkey Stuffing, some Heinz Turkey gravy, a can of Libby’s creamed corn, some instant mashed potatoes and of course….a can of Ocean Spray Jelled cranberry sauce, left in the shape of the can. Yup…THAT is Thanksgiving for me!

Is it fancy? Heck no! Some people might be disgusted at even the thought of eating that on a regular week night for dinner, let alone for Thanksgiving. But you know what? I no longer stress myself making and preparing a huge meal and better yet, we actually ENJOY the day and a nice quiet Thanksgiving holiday, without all of the bells and whistles. Granted, it’s not the Thanksgiving for everyone…but it works for us and that is all that matters to me.

My point in sharing my experiences with everyone is simply this.

1)      Life changes and so do the traditions that we hold dearly. There is nothing we can do about this but hold those sweet memories of the past dear to our hearts, while we look forward and create and embrace new traditions to carry with us into the future.

2)       Traditions do not need to be traditional. What makes you happy might not make everyone happy….but who cares!  If you spend your life trying to make everyone happy, you will discover it’s impossible to do and one day look back and realize just how much time you wasted trying to. And if you wind up spending your day in the most untraditional way of perhaps not doing anything special at all….just remember…

3)      It’s only one day in the year. If you think your otherwise “perfect meal” is totally ruined because you spilled the green bean salad on the floor, you’re wrong. Instead, you have just made a humorous family memory that will last longer then the memory of how juicy your turkey breast ever would have.

4)     If you are spending it alone or without everyone you would like to spend it with, just remember that what happens the other 364 days of the year is by far more important than what happens this one single day. It’s just a DAY and you will get the chance at a new one tomorrow.

Remember, Thanksgiving, or any holiday, is like life….it can be whatever you choose to make of it. So choose to make it the best one for YOU, and you’ll never regret it!

Roses Are Red

In each of our lives, we have turning points. Those moments when something happens, or maybe doesn’t happen, where the direction and view we have of our lives shifts and finds a new focus, for better or for worse. One of those moments happened for me on a Valentine’s Day about 10 years ago when I received a dozen long stemmed red roses…that were not meant for me.

When you are single and have no significant other in your life, Valentine’s Day is one of the WORST holidays around. It seems to be a day whose sole purpose to exist is to remind those who have no one of their own to love just how much they are missing out on. You see ads and commercials and movies all around you with happy couples, holding hands and just being oh so much in love with each other. That’s all great and warm and fuzzy when you have someone to share those special moments with, but when you don’t…..it sucks! I spent many a lonely Valentine’s Day just that way and what just made it all that much worse for me was that I was a hopeless romantic. I bought into all that romantic stuff lock, stock and barrel. I ate it up as if it were chocolate covered cherries dipped in ice cream and covered in sprinkles and cream. My already vivid and overactive imagination would often wonder if there was someone else out there somewhere who felt as I did and that somehow, someway, we would find each other and live happily ever after. Yep…..I think I watched Sleepless in Seattle just one time too many.  

This particular Valentine’s Day that I am talking about right now started out just like every other one for me…..boyfriendless. My parents would always get me a card and a box of candy for Valentine’s Day and I always appreciated it greatly, but that was about all I could ever expect to receive for the day. But on this Valentine’s Day, something unexpected happened. About 3 in the afternoon our doorbell rang. When I answered the door, it was a delivery boy holding a large box filled with a dozen long stemmed red roses! For one brief second…just one brief moment…I allowed myself to indulge in the fantasy that maybe….just MAYBE…somehow these roses were meant for me. Perhaps somehow my one true love from some far off kingdom had found me, after looking for me for so many years, and discovered that perhaps he should have thought to first look for me in Brooklyn as opposed to Camelot or Sherwood Forest as he MUST have been doing all of the years up until then (hey, even Prince Charming can goof sometimes). But once my moment of fantastical bliss was complete, reality took over and I knew those roses were not intended for me. They were for my next door neighbor who wasn’t home at the time. The delivery boy asked me if I would mind accepting them for her. When I brought them inside, I just looked at them, admiring their beauty. I held the box in my arms as if I was a newly crowned Miss America. I closed my eyes and breathed in their sweet perfume. For those few moments, I had experienced what so many others would get to experience on their Valentine’s Day. I had received a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day. But I didn’t indulge in my fantasy for too long and allowed reality to enter my mind and swiftly clear away the traces of the bliss that remained. I closed the box, put them down, and started to cry. That single moment felt like a massive culmination of all of the sadness, loneliness and hopelessness that I had felt every year on this day. That had to rate as one of the lowest points of my life. It was that moment that made me realize that I needed to do SOMETHING to change things for myself…..which took some time and hard work for me to do.

A year or so later, I met the man who would become my boyfriend for close to five years (we broke up 4 years ago). The first time we met, he brought me a bouquet of flowers…which included a single red rose. It was the first rose that was ever given to me…..and I still have it. I would have loved to kept it suspended in a bell jar forever like in the Disney movie “Beauty and the Beast” but instead I dried it and have it safely tucked away in a small Rubbermaid container (not quite the bell jar, but it was the best I could do).  Money was tight for us in the beginning but one year on Christmas Eve after he had gotten a good paying job, he brought me home a dozen long stemmed red roses…..and this time they were really for ME and were mine to keep. I am fortunate to have received roses from him after that as well as from my boyfriend now, too, and I save the petals from all of them in a pretty glass jar. I waited a very VERY long time to receive roses from someone special….so I don’t take ANY of them for granted.

With that, I would like to simply say this…..

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

With some hope and patience,

Some wishes REALLY CAN come true!

A Letter to Myself at Sixteen

Dear Me at 16,

I’m glad I have this chance to write this for you because there is so much I want to tell you about your future. I remember how much you wondered about your future when you were a teenager. I remember how lonely and hopeless you felt because you thought things would never change for you. I remember how much you hated what you saw in the mirror everyday. I remember how although you always held on to the hope that one day things would be different for yourself, you also resided yourself to the fact that things would always be as they were for you then and you just tried your best to accept it. Well I have something to tell you……you were wrong.

I know right now at 16 your fondest wish is to be beautiful and to have it that for once….just ONCE….it would be YOU to turn the guys heads and not just the girls around you. I know you feel like you’re nothing right now, like your invisible to the world, but guess what….you’re really not. You make yourself invisible because you don’t want the world to see you as you see yourself. But some people care and will care more than you realize, if you just give them the chance to get close to you. Not everyone around you is going to hurt you. Okay, some will, I wont lie to you about that. But for every thoughtless jerk in the world, there is someone who has a warm, kind and compassionate heart who will sincerely care about you. Be brave and put yourself out there once in awhile. Yes, you will get hurt sometimes doing this, but what you get in return from the good people will make it all worth it. But in those times when you do get hurt by life and from some of the people in it, try to remember that all of those hurts and all of that pain in the end will help you to become the person you are meant to be. You will remember those times and how you felt and it will help you to empathize with others who are experiencing pain and make you want to try and help them in any way that you can ….just as you wished someone would have done for you. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and you WILL be stronger from it all and have a more loving heart because of it, too.  Surprisingly, it will all be worth it in the end.

And believe it or not yes…one day…you will look into the mirror and like what you see. What, you don’t believe me? Now why would I lie to you? I know it’s hard but you just gotta trust me on this one. One day, as if your fairy godmother waved her magic wand over you, you will bloom. Some rosebuds need more time than others, more love and care, to be brave enough to allow the beauty that they hold deep inside of their petals to be seen by the whole world., but just be patient with yourself. One day you will realize that it hurts more to remain hidden inside of your rosebud than it will be to risk it all and allow yourself to bloom. And once you do….words wont be able to describe how you feel! You will take every compliment you receive and embrace it as if it was one of the greatest treasures on Earth because you and I both know to you….it is. Yes, sometimes what seems to be impossible actually is possible. So have faith, don’t ever give up hope and whatever you do, don’t listen to or pay any mind to the naysayers of this world who put you down and who don’t appreciate all the love and gifts you have to offer. In the end they don’t matter, so don’t give them the power to make you feel bad about yourself in anyway.

Now after knowing what your future has in store for you, I want you to remember something very important. For as much as you want to be pretty…in the end….it’s NOT what is important. As you wait for your time in the sun, you need to continue to work on what is TRULY important. Keep working hard in school and studying because developing your mind and intelligence is important and so is developing your personality. You see, everyone’s looks fade over time and in the end if that is all you depended on and all you had to offer the world, you will be sadly left. What beauty lies on the inside is TRULY what’s most important. Also, always keep your heart and mind open. Offer kindness to people for no other reason than because it’s the right thing to do and it’s what you would want others to do for you. Always put out into this world what you would hope to get back from it and you will never go wrong. In the end…..just be the kind of person you would want to know and be around yourself.

Beyond this, you don’t need to know right now. A peek into the future is fine but to stare at it is impolite. Be happy with what I have told you and just remember to hang in there….it all does get better.

Love,

Me at 38…..yeah, I can’t believe it either!  {{SIGH}}