Throughout the course of a year, there are certain things we can expect and depend on, such as the sun rising and setting each day, having to beg for extra ketchup and napkins when you go to McDonald’s because they somehow believe that only one of each will suffice, and seasonal holidays. To some, these yearly traditions bring great joy and fond memories. But to others, they bring nothing but dread and sadness. I think it’s safe to say that each of us have probably experienced at least some of each kind, but hopefully more good ones than bad.
Growing up, Thanksgiving was always one of my favorite holidays. Mine were never spent with tons of family and instead just my immediate family of my parents, aunt and uncle, but I remember them fondly. All of that changed, however, once my aunt and uncle passed away. To us, Thanksgiving basically died along with them. But the traditions were revived in a new way a few years later when I invited my then soon to be boyfriend (now my ex) to spend Thanksgiving with us. But this new found renewal for this holiday was short lived when the Thanksgivings with him that followed (which we also considered to be our anniversary) were wrecked by us fighting over how he couldn’t sacrifice drinking to the point of getting drunk for one day…our anniversary…just to make me happy.
Since then, I have come to accept the fact that my days of an “ideal” Thanksgiving are now over. Instead, I have learned to enjoy and embrace what have become my “new” traditions for Thanksgiving. Now the day is usually spent doing nothing but relaxing and not doing much of anything. At the age of 40, I still watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and intend to do so until it either ends…or I do. Whatever comes first! For me, the magic of the parade is my small way of re-connecting to those Thanksgivings of the past that I fondly remember. We visit with my parents for awhile and then come evening, my boyfriend makes the 10 lb turkey I get for $5 at our local DEALS store, along with a box of Stove Top Turkey Stuffing, some Heinz Turkey gravy, a can of Libby’s creamed corn, some instant mashed potatoes and of course….a can of Ocean Spray Jelled cranberry sauce, left in the shape of the can. Yup…THAT is Thanksgiving for me!
Is it fancy? Heck no! Some people might be disgusted at even the thought of eating that on a regular week night for dinner, let alone for Thanksgiving. But you know what? I no longer stress myself making and preparing a huge meal and better yet, we actually ENJOY the day and a nice quiet Thanksgiving holiday, without all of the bells and whistles. Granted, it’s not the Thanksgiving for everyone…but it works for us and that is all that matters to me.
My point in sharing my experiences with everyone is simply this.
1) Life changes and so do the traditions that we hold dearly. There is nothing we can do about this but hold those sweet memories of the past dear to our hearts, while we look forward and create and embrace new traditions to carry with us into the future.
2) Traditions do not need to be traditional. What makes you happy might not make everyone happy….but who cares! If you spend your life trying to make everyone happy, you will discover it’s impossible to do and one day look back and realize just how much time you wasted trying to. And if you wind up spending your day in the most untraditional way of perhaps not doing anything special at all….just remember…
3) It’s only one day in the year. If you think your otherwise “perfect meal” is totally ruined because you spilled the green bean salad on the floor, you’re wrong. Instead, you have just made a humorous family memory that will last longer then the memory of how juicy your turkey breast ever would have.
4) If you are spending it alone or without everyone you would like to spend it with, just remember that what happens the other 364 days of the year is by far more important than what happens this one single day. It’s just a DAY and you will get the chance at a new one tomorrow.
Remember, Thanksgiving, or any holiday, is like life….it can be whatever you choose to make of it. So choose to make it the best one for YOU, and you’ll never regret it!
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